Most of the year I have been reluctant to share the dirty details about my co-teaching experiences in my blogs to avoid sounding whiny, unappreciative, or unhappy. I hate reading blogs like that. Instead I choose to blog about my weekend activities and other travels around Asia. But at some point I need to be honest and stop painting this rosy picture of life in Korea for you and for me. When I read back over this blog in years to come, I want it to truly reflect the events that happened. So here's a little peak into the thorns, I hope you don't mind.
The return to school also brought the return of Mr. Adjussi (see posts from last November), one of my original co-teachers. He had been on hiatus since December to participate in a 6-month English training program, 1 of the 6 months spent in the USA observing schools there. Lucky for me a young, female teacher, fresh out of university replaced him during that time. She was a great teacher and co-teacher (note: good teachers don't always make good co-teachers). We made fun, creative lessons that, I feel, the students truly enjoyed. Teaching with her always lifted my spirits.
It was a sharp contrast from my previous experiences with Mr. Adjussi and his repetitive regime of lessons, that the students found terribly boring (I was right there with them) in which my opinion/advice was never asked for or valued. I was, in fact, never a "real" teacher in the States and couldn't speak Korean. Two things he constantly reminded me of those first few months. I quickly realized I must first change his heart towards foreign teachers before I could ever even think to change his lesson plans. By the end of December last year he had warmed up to me. He complimented my teaching a few times, invited me to after school hikes, asked my advice about doing the training program, then accepted upon my encouragement.
Now he's back. The optimist in me was sure this 6-month training would magically change him. He would find a new zeal for teaching, learn about more effective and interesting methods to teach English, improve his English skills and remove some of his many prejudices against Westerners and/or Americans. Well....
It didn't. Quite the opposite. After 6 months surrounded by other teachers and away from young students, he finds the students to be even more "noisy" and "rude" then he did before, he printed out and offered me the same structure of lesson plans as before, his English skill has decline while being surrounded by Koreans the whole training program (even in the States), and now he feels he has America all figured out, making a mental list of how Korea is better.
Sidenote: That list is now shared every day at lunch with the principal, vice principal, and other teachers. After an explanation in Korea he'll turn to me:
"Kelly, don't you think life in Korea is better than America?"
"Korean pears are better than American pears. Don't you agree?"
"All stores close early in America. Isn't that inconvenient?"
It made me feel good to hear he was happy to see me again and ask questions about my vacation and semester without him. That good feeling lasted only until our first planning time together. Even now with my good standing with him (as compared to November) it's exhausting to work with him on lessons, to get just one interesting activity in each lesson. I know the levels to which the students rose last semester while doing fun activities together. I want that for the students again and it breaks my heart to see their once curious about English spirits crushed with boredom and silence.
But I'm not giving up. I can't.
Then there's my other co-teacher. A man who is depressed about his life, clearly affecting his teaching and work ethic. He's always "too busy" to spend more than 5 minutes discussing lessons with me, leaving me to design the whole thing, then he watches TV all afternoon in his office, or sleeps off his still banging hangover. I have freedom for creativity in lessons but with zero help or input beyond "I will do these two listen and repeats from the book."
He prepares absolutely nothing for our classes. He never digs up flashcards, puts together powerpoints, makes worksheets, finds activities, or even erases the board after a day of classes. The days when he teaches alone he spends the entire 40 minutes disciplining the students and speaking at them entirely in Korean (students and homeroom teachers have told me). The poor students. To me and during co-teaching he is very cordial and polite, a facade I have learned not to trust. The laziness of this man continually amazes me, the stories I will keep to myself.
In the last few weeks I have been ask over and over again if I will re-contract at this school. I politely say no, saying I want to see more of the world, try something new, blah blah. Pulling the whole "It's not you, it's me" line. And that's true, I do want to see more of the world and try something new. But that's only a meager part of it. Mostly I don't want to work around these people anymore. "Aww, Kellyyyy, whyyyy?" They cannot understand why I won't stay another year. As much as I am flattered that they want me to stay, so much so that they are constantly listing the pros of re-contracting, they are again exhausting me. It's at the point now that I might just scream, "NOOOO!" at the top of my lungs the next time I am asked.
I'm torn between being completely honest with them about my year at this school and my reasons for not re-contracting or just leaving in peace and white lies.
Thorns, oh thorns. These are my thorns.
Now I must add that 99% of the time all these thorns are bearable thanks to the lovely students I see each day: the smiles, the hugs, the letters, the gifts, the excitement in their voices, and even the naughty rascals. All the students challenge and encourage me to be a better teacher and for this I am grateful and happy.
*sigh* Thanks for letting me vent.
The end. :)
